If you're a bird, Im a bird

I feel like

I lost faith in love a long time ago. After that, i never really tried at anything anymore with the same kind of “hope” i had before. I detached myself from emotions. Its as if im walking around with a cloud behind me. And as much as i try to get away from it, the cloud is always one step behind me, its like my shadow. When im at my limits, the theres a thunderstorm of emotions that i cant tell anybody about and so i just deal with it by myself. I drown in my own emotions and it drains my energy all the time dealing with it. Im so sick of everything about my life honestly. I wish things would just go the way i know it should. Nobody loves me, let alone wants to talk to me. I want a guy that likes me for me, and he isnt here. I would drop everything and anything in my life in a heartbeat for him. Its like i have so much love and so much compassion, which i could readily give to him but he isnt there to accept it. And that.. is the worst part of it all.

“You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”